eff the world we luv furl


Cheers to the bootlegger who posted Mac Dre’s discography in CDQ the other day. Or as close to the whole thing as any sane persons gonna attempt, when his every studio scrap has been shamelessly recycled a dozen times over the last decade by dry snitch savant J-Diggs. (lol even Gucci doesnt love prison food this much: rob a load of banks-rap about it and call out detectives by name -get caught- name your record label after your bank robber gang – name your next label after popular drug -star in a HBO documentary about robbing banks and rapping about it -use label named after the popular drug as front for selling the popular drug – get caught etc.)

Anyways, of course theres omissions so heres a few:

 Rydah J Klyde – 50 Shotz ft. PSD, Mac Dre & Husalah (2003, The Fly Gangsta)

Aside from being graverobbed by his bumbling crook buddies and releasing like 50 albums, he was fond of featuring on on everyones shit, particularly these dudes’. I was late to the Rydah party myself but hes slept on, overshadowed by being in a group with the most beautiful/gorgeous/maineyest person out the bay since Max Julien and the lottery winner off Coco’s instagram. Its a pity cos hes a fairly reliable source of hard mobb type ones like this, with the best use of actual old sci-fi film sounding theremin noises since the Earthbound soundtrack.

 Mac Dre – How I Got This Name (1998, YBB Presents Constant Drama compilation)

“and after that, cock was nothin’ to me
so I flipped the script and stopped fuckin’ for free-
every bitch I dicked down had to kick down
whoever I tossed up had to cough up”

 Mac Dre “track 2″ (demo/underground tape, 199?)

Fairly sure this isnt a demo tape, internet (Little Bruce siggin isn’t from 1989 either) since (a) the producer he came up under owned his own label (b) no one who says “game” as much as him would try and go through a middle man (c) lol he explicitly describes his early career on the second song. It is impressive how fully developed his style was from the jump though and maybe its the era hes from, but its cool how he never properly cashed in on his irl shenanigans in his music, cop namedropping etc aside. He did have the benefit of coming out post Too Short/NWA etc and his rapper mentor went for similar points he could improve upon, but even during the goofier later years its basically the same mostly old school bragging with vague pimp/criminal wording.

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rap television

Rap’s Most Wanted, 1991 featuring 2 Live Crew, Chuck D, Too Short, HWA, Ice-T & Geto Boys

Shouts to Amerikkka for fucking with all these dudes(and uh, HWA) to where Luke had to round them all up to speak their piece in my new favourite documentary, starring the rap interview dream team from that era with only maybe KRS sitting it out on the bench.

Its basically the 1991 equivalent of the fabled What! What! The Movie that we got a glimpse of recently. At a guess the subject matter here (PMRC, racism, rap CNN etc) is a bit weightier than that but the informal pissing about atmospheres just as rare(especially in Chuck and Ice-T’s bits. Chuck’s reaction to Brother Marquis “black awareness” quips a beaut). Probably as much down to them treating it like some underground tape as it is (much like with Nore)Luke’s bawdy likability rubbing off on them, when theyre usually talking to the enemy speaking on behalf of rap music with their guards up or at the very least talking to someone theyve never been on tour with and seen getting his john thomas slobbed on stage.

Heres the quotes Id say Luke wanted to use in the ads for this, I doubt there was many.

“To me, the statue of liberty, if you was to lift up the skirt on the statue of liberty you’d see that America is nothing but a disease packing bitch.” – Bushwick Bill

“Everybodys got a social security number, everybodys got an address, phone number. You say well boom- if these are the people coming after me this is how you reach them. Then if something happens to me…” - Chuck D

“What are you doing after this? How about it Luke? you wanna know how the pussy is, stop asking so many damn questions!” - Baby Girl

“I used to run into jewellery stores with a sledgehammer, jump up on the counter, break the glass. I got cuts all on my hands – I aint gonna show you no cuts, I aint Vanilla Ice.” - Ice-T

Ricky Ebert sez 2 thumbs up:

siskel ebert luke

lol @ the tumblr post for this getting zero notes, check out Luke’s other doc that year brh.

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buggin out

boy dog

 The Jacka – Probably Say (2012, Tonite Show)

The first verse here is about being ready for when Skynet declares martial law/those dern reds get the drop on us. Now maybe its just standard rap paranoid fantasy but theres a few red flags for anyone whos seen all the stonefaced camo-ed up dudes on Doomsday Preppers show the rest of america where they keep their pickled eggs:

“smoke weed and get deep right in my living room
my neighbour cant sleep, every day he prep for doom
people think he crazy but i got respect for dude
every day the world changing so now I’m a prepper too
i store water and wheat, in the back row vegetables
stack ammo and heat just in case armageddon soon
got 87, 89 and unleaded fuel
map the quickest way out the city, tell my family soon
rap ready to die for the land that im standing on
so when the fall of babylon come we can carry on”

Alternate theory: Jacka just lives next door to a troubled man and this is Husalah’s plan so he doesnt have to steal pies off window sills and less than beautiful and gorgeous menswear off clotheslines next time hes on the lam.

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foolin out bein bool, like i do

40 Thevz – Tennis Shoe Pimpin (1997, Mercury)

Forgotten Coolio weed carriers (part of a rich tapestry of not owning your own weed, seeing as Coolio was originally WC’s weed carrier before WC went on to be Ice Cube’s weed carrier despite WC’s first single celebrating never having to carry weed ever again. Him choosing a name that could be an acronym for said sacred occupation makes this even more baffling. Eh, 20/20 Hindsight and all that. Surprised Robbie missed this one.) make a fairly good song about shoes. Thats high praise, rappers have been loving shoes and showing them they really mean it through song since prepubescent Puff Daddy was posting up* at Latin Quarters scooping girlies and making them cry.

Their first album is severely hampered by the kind of capital O fonky production and cornball turns of phrase beloved of their weed purchaser (one songs actually called Thank God For The Children) but they break out the M.O.R. mould on the second one and made this nice tune about being paranoid.

 40 Thevz- Watchin’ You (2000, Lef 4 Dead album)

Im only joshing about Coolio though cos tbh playboy, if you are under 30 and don’t know every word of this:

you’re likely also unfamiliar with the relief  LV’s beautiful r&g punk smoov shit brought to a young foreign type borkin’ outta control  after a solid hour of Babylon Zoo and Brimful Of Asha and you’re almost certainly unaware that G is for Gangsta and not for Giraffe.

*speaking of which, Paul Wall bb, the much maligned comin’ dahn, posted up like everything possible posterboy, has contrary to popular opinion consistently made and been on loads of perfect songs over the last decade while his more celebrated ghostwriter has been more or less unbearable since they parted ways. I dunno what the science behind it is but hes somehow defied every Rappin’ Ofay rule there is while working with a tiny toolkit of Texas rap cliches and at most, 3 rhyme schemes, yet still somehow keeps being on those ones.

Big Pokey – Let Them Boys Know ft. Paul Wall & Lil Keke (2008, Evacuation Notice album)

Like this, a song about driving cars with low centres of gravity featuring two SUC lads thats way better than you’ve any right to expect it to be in 2008. It could be anyone sounds good over Beanz N Kornbread sampling Walk On By but odds are its that magic you’re gifted with when you keep them boppers boppin’ and have more carats than vegetable soup. I think this is a sequel to a tribute to June 27 Freestyle I heard once?

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thank you the great pumpkin gawd

This has already passed its sell by date in most time zones that are concerned about rap music but some bloggers have men to see about dogs when ye be out there on the internet being punctual. Heres my pick of songs that had Bonecrusher begging to sleep in his parents’ bed and a few that just had “demon” and “zombie in the title:


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make you a part of the pavement quickly

Heres the Poet solo debut that never was. It is suitably one note and does not feature the white dude/any emotion other than what you feel after mortally wounding a few dozen people.

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why mason wasnt a mason rly

Kanye has two sex tapes floating around, that according to various gossip outlets supposedly demonstrate his superhuman stamina and ability to use his “hehhhh” adlib appropriately or some shit. Guaranteed once theyre released it will if anything, further his career in an era where no one cares about sex tapes and this is why the rap media is illuminati funded. How is Yung Berg’s name synonymous for failure when every one of his robberies/self-pwns can easily be topped by one from fellow Chicago rappers Kanye and Lupe?

Lupe, a fucking god awful, artless, clumsy writer with  a Kweli-ian ability to count bars and Ron Howard voice, prone to the kind of sloppy, reactionary ideas you normally only encounter before age 20 at that point at the end of a long night of taking drugs when the epiphanies are coming in by the bundle and youre frantically agreeing with whatever deep thought fragment the crustie at the other end of the couch shits out. Except with those two people its just vague platitudes and with Lupe its this Alex Jones-strong conviction, gimmicky, muddled conceptualizing, inflammatory sloganeering (eg his deconstruction of “bad bitches”) and presented like its been peer-tested by the world’s finest sociology professors.

All this actual criticism is giving him too much respect though cos hes also the character who:

  • Made a condescending song about having conflicted feelings listening to gangsta rap/many sweeping statements about people glorifying capitalist rap shit etc before being revealed to have earlier in his career made as much of a flossy gangsta rap song as a beta clown like Lupe could: 
  • Performs a Tribe Called Quest tribute on a tv show made specifically for young people/rappers to show respect to their elders then forgets the lyrics/doesnt bother to learn them in first place. Later when asked to apologise, says he was thuggin’ too hard to be into Tribe and spent his youth listening to Spice 1 and Too $hort tapes
  • Proud of his superior reasoning and refusal to drop n-bombs then when provoked by Bol (bear in mind this was pre-rap blogs current ubiquity and industry cache) calls him a “bitch ass n***a”
  • Made a concept song about a young black man trapped in the cycle of crime and poverty or something, from the perspective of a hamburger 
  • He voluntarily named himself “fiasco”

etc etc

Kanye’s flaws as a rapper and public gaffes/transparent media stunts are well charted territory at this point so theres no need to detail every one. His knee-jerk Katrina “commentary” being treated like him just having a heartfelt, sincere moment when he just happens to be on the telly is understandable enough I suppose but the fact he is delusional enough to power through shit like taking himself too seriously to get a South Park parody about him taking himself too seriously to get jokes, and “fish sticks” isnt shouted at him at every public appearance from now til hes buried under the Vanity Fair building, isnt on at all.

Theres a difference between the arrogant lavish living in denial of the sort Rawse has perfected and being sonned repeatedly and not only getting all fauxmotional and not taking the shots like a man, then having your $cientologist media connects implant enough subliminal thetans in ads on Rap Radar and Worldstar that this shit is actually debated rather than universally agreed to be the car crashes they are. Once that element of doubt is in the air, any dents thats might have appeared in their rap armour are smoothed out.

Ye let yourselves be told Berg was a washed up pop rapper whos only skillz are being humiliated when hes clearly a pretty successful songwriter/producer and businessman caking off a decade long career in the music industry. Im glad Ma$e isnt the standard punchline anymore for many people though, since he was a great rapper with a classic debut, not recognized as such only because it was released immediately following De La & Jeru’s drawing a line in the sand with Rap Game Gordon Geckos on one side, rhythmless sci-fi fans and middle aged killjoys shaking their fists at any cloud with silver in it, on the other.

Here – I like my entertainers contradictory, with questionable personal beliefs and able to churn out a public incident or two like anyone else and you can go enjoy Kanye and Lupe’s bad rap songs(in Kanye’s case, the dozen or so that arent great/saved by more capable people) if you want, just leave poor Ma$e and Berg alone, make “lupefiasco” a verb and distribute your respect where its deserved. Your rapper dudes arent real rap superheroes, breh, theyre cubicle warriors who left their Comic Con tights on too long

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