sean penn burnerz

 Castro the Connect – Crayola (1998, single)

It seems Gucci’s paint chip book fetish (“my _____ grapefruit, my _______ salmon”) and Saigon’s All In The Same Gang rehash/legitimate threat to society via teaching gang members that red tracing paper over blue tracing paper trick he was shown in primary school, The Colour Purple, had a precedent after all. Pity this is so hard to find outside teh ‘tube though cos its the dreaded radio edit. I’ve no idea why he even bothered with one cos he’l just wind up with the same artistic dillemmas Ratz had:

It’d be nice to hear gems like

“I’m on a white sand beach fucking a white ho, all because I got white blow” and “black man, black cat, bad luck, black alligator truck, i fuck black bitches with my black dick, I’m black as fuck”

in all their technicolour glory. He even gives beige love on here.

 Dat Boy Grace/Macc Grace Dopeman ft. Boss Shan & Mike D (2010, Guess Whos Back)

Since family friends are now visibly worried when asking “what are you at with yourself these days?” and I’m feeling like I should read one of the depressing books I keep handy to impress people its become increasingly hard to do like Chuck D says and ride for “music your girlfriend hates” without feeling like I should also be spending my evenings going in all caps on message boards over the difference between jazz-funk and psychedelic jazz-funk.

Consequently my long held aversion to sung hooks on rap songs has steadily been replaced for an intolerance for a dozen hangers on, plus whoever was smoking weed in the studio corridor at the time shouting the same three words a few times between verses, especially if its accompanied by some Bar-Kays classic thats been  filtered for a bass line turned to sludge and the ’92 arms south egyptian military stomp:

Thats all gravy, no one wants to be holding the wall up forever and that muddy timz & horn parps shit was one of the more overrated styles of the 90s but theres one stage in my development that I’m not fine with at all and thats the abundance of southern nostalgia raps lately. Cos while that makes for a slightly less camo suited up alternative to the throwbackpack phenomenom of the late 90s-mid 00s, they’re starting to ruin S&C choruses for everyone, something which seemed like it was on its last rungs anyways around 2007 but thankfully got a respite from going the way of “iggedy” and putting “-ski” on the end of your rap name by Houston rap’s popularity fading drastically around that time.

Now every time I listen to Dopeman (by the only gangsta rapper who instead of changing his girl’s name to something more menacing like Ice-T (PKA Tracey) did, decided it’d be better to clarify by putting “Dat Boy” in front) I don’t think sleep apnea and mahogany car interiors, instead its keffiyehs and cosmonaut boots and thats just not on at all, mayn. Its all lazy eldery rap dude smack, I bet people who remembered the 80s loved J5 at first too.

 Rick Da Bro – I Dont Wanna Talk (demo, 1994)

I can’t remember if it was Trav or Noz but some New Jeruz blogger made an observation ages ago about how a lot of Outsidaz members often use really strangely worded punchlines that just kind of work, maybe its cos they combined it with a ridiculous overblown delivery but it works because of, not in spite of that akward phrasing.* Mostly cos the weird construction tends to make them funny in a surreal way though, like Lil’ Fame shouting his old nickname “SLAPADOO” apropos of nothing or every single thing in Durty Pop.

Anyways I’m starting to think it might be a local style, cos for the life of my I’ve never understood half of Redman’s punchlines, which always seemed pretty slapdash-edly(?) thrown together and then theres this mysterious cunt, who “talks so much trash because my pops was a garbage man” while sounding not unlike Krazy Drayzy dealing with the tv license inspector. Plus his name is Rick Da Bro and his producer’s name is Spaz.

*Not “awkward phrasing” like The Game or Tyler The Creator though. Them dudes just jam stuff in willy-nilly cos they Rhyme and don’t show much awareness of how  haphazard and 14 yr old textcee this sounds when put over the instrumental they never listened to til recording time.
tbh I suspect me lumping Tyler in with The Game has more to do with wasting irl currency on Goblin instead of contributing to Ryan Leslie’s laptop fund than anything else really. 
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